


Look Toward The Sun

by inkvoices



Series: Licorice Allsorts [36]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - His Dark Materials Fusion, Choices, Clintasha Advent 2020, Community: be_compromised, Daemons, F/M, Friendship, Gen, the amber spyglass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27881633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkvoices/pseuds/inkvoices
Summary: "We did the right thing, didn't we?" Natalia says, turning her head to look at Clint. "Leaving them behind?"
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov
Series: Licorice Allsorts [36]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/35503
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	Look Toward The Sun

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Clintasha Advent 2020 'AU/crossover' theme. Title from the last line of Philip Pullman's _Northern Lights_ and some dialogue taken from _The Amber Spyglass_.

Lying on her back in the grass with the sun on her face, the wind singing in the trees, and Clint a warm, solid presence lying next to her, Natalia feels like time is standing still in this world. 

The fighting and the dead and all the questions of Dust seem so far away and finding their dæmons doesn't feel so urgent any more, even though that's what they set out to do this morning. Natalia can feel that Ani is nearby, that he's safe, and that he'll come back to her when he's ready. She just doesn't know if he'll ever forgive her. She doesn't know if she can ever forgive herself.

"We did the right thing, didn't we?" she says, turning her head to look at Clint, the grass soft against her cheek. "Leaving them behind?"

"We had to," says Clint. Without looking, he moves his arm across the small space between them and wriggles his fingers until he finds hers. "They know we had to, because they couldn't come with us to the world of the dead and you made a promise to Yelena."

"And you had to speak to your brother again…"

Natalia watches as he slides their hands together and holds on, fingers and thumbs interlocking, three for him and five for her, like alethiometer symbols finally making sense.

"And we had to let them all out."

"Yes, we did," Natalia says, rolling her head to stare back up at the trees and the clouds and the sky again as the truth of it settles inside her. "We made the right choice. Ani will be glad one day when I die and we won't be split up. It just - It hurt _so much_ ," she admits quietly, because it feels like the kind of thing to speak softly of, even though Clint was right there with her and feeling the same heart-wrenching pain. "It was so difficult and maybe that’s why I keep feeling like it might have been wrong, even though I know that it wasn't."

"Maybe that's part of growing up," Clint says, picking his words slowly. "Having to make the right choice over and over again."

"And worrying if it _was_ the right choice, I suppose." 

Natalia closes her eyes and sighs. She'll feel better, she thinks, when Aniketos stops hiding.

"I choose you, Nat." Clint squeezes her hand gently and it's like warmth travels from where they're touching to fill up all of her insides. "You know that, right? I'd follow you back into the world of the dead if I had to and right back out again. You're the best choice I ever made."

This moment feels big, like they’re hovering on the edge of something, and Natalia finds herself holding her breath waiting for them to topple over, but - Whatever it is, they’re not quite there yet. Wherever _there_ is.

She can wait, and Clint will be right there waiting with her.

"I chose you first though, in Ci'gazze," Natalia says, squeezing his hand back.

"You didn't!" Clint protests, but she can hear the laughter layered behind it. "You picked a fight is what you did."

"Well, yes, but you attacked me."

"I didn't! You attacked _me_."

"Yes, but I stopped. After I'd won," she adds.

"Yes, but," Clint repeats and then laughs, like he can’t hold it in any more, and Natalia joins in.

She feels lighter afterwards, like she’s let something go.

"What I mean is," Natalia says solemnly when they've both calmed down, "I choose you right back Clint Barton. And don't you forget it."


End file.
